Sunday, February 20, 2011

Iceland Omitted From 'Disgusting Candy' List

As loyal readers know, I've taken issue with Icelandic candy in the past and wondered aloud whether it contributed to the country's economic collapse.

Not from Iceland: Ear Wax Candy.

Well, bad as it is, there are apparently far worse confections in the world — at least according to this list of the most disgusting candy ever made. Nothing from Iceland is included.

Here are the rankings:
21. White Chocolate Maggots
20. Bubble Fudge
19. Jujubes
18. Big Hunk
17. Ear Wax Candy
16. Barratt Sherbet Fountain
15. Zit Poppers
14. Chunky
13. Dubbel Zout
12. Sour Apple Abba Zabba
11. Bacon Beans
10. Hematogen
9. Circus Peanuts
8. Ayds
7. Nacho Mints
6. Hippy Sippy
5. Túró Rudi
4. Harry Potter Cockroach Clusters
3. Passion Fruit Almond Joy
2. Fry's Five Centre
1. Haw Flakes

If I did the list, I probably would have left out anything that's trying deliberately to sound disgusting (White Chocolate Maggots, Ear Wax Candy, Zit Poppers, Cockroach Clusters). I also would have singled out the black Jujubes as particularly atrocious (sorry to sound Jujube-racist).

And Ayds — the diet candy famously pulled from the market during the AIDS epidemic — is a little too easy of a target.

Most of the candies on the list do sound pretty horrendous. As someone who hates black licorice AND sweet-and-savory candy, I was especially disturbed by the Netherlands' Dubbel Zout. The name translates to "Double Salt"...who would buy that?

Then there's "the living nightmare known as Túró Rudi. This Hungarian candy is exactly as gross as it sounds — a pressed log of cheese curds enrobed in milk chocolate."

Hungary makes us not hungry.

Russia's Hematogen, meanwhile, is "the only candy bar in the world that contains the secret ingredient of cow's blood."

I wonder if Turkish delight should have gotten at least an honorary mention. I spent most of my childhood thinking it must be the most delicious thing on Earth. Turns out, it's kind of gross. (Thanks a lot, Clive Lewis!)

The No. 1 grossest-candy was Haw Flakes: "Made from ground-up berries of the hawthorn plant (generally considered inedible) and packaged in a squat little cylinder, these quarter-sized discs are so inedible that some people use them to cheat parking meters instead."

Made in China.

I suppose it's no surprise that candy from China would top the list. Traditionally, the Chinese have never had a strong affection for sweets.

Consider that the most famous Chinese dessert (the fortune cookie) was invented in California.