Monday, September 12, 2005

I'm Back

Alright, I'm back to the daily grind. Hopefully you BuboBlog readers have subsided on alternate news sources in my absence.

I am still adjusting to being married. Today some woman with my last name started e-mailing me in an overly friendly manner. I was like, "Hey lady, I don't know who you are, but I'm a married man." Then I realized that this was actually my wife! (Apparently the Macworld e-mail system moved quickly with the name change.) Anyway, this is the kind of stuff I'll have to get used to.

We had a great week in Tahoe after the wedding. In lieu of a normal honeymoon, we essentially acted out a movie-style montage of things that people are supposed to do on honeymoons. That included:

—Paddling a two-person kayak
—Riding a tandem bicycle
—Horseback riding
—Having champagne delivered to our hotel room

Unfortunately, there were a few mishaps. For one, I didn't adequately apply sunblock during the kayaking session. Since my shins hadn't seen any sun since the first Clinton administration, they became VERY BADLY BURNED. I tried to suffer in silence, since I didn't want my injury to interfere with the honeymoon, but I did occasionally scream "I'M VERY BADLY BURNED" (sometimes in public).

There also was an unfortunate incident when we checked out of the Bed and Breakfast. The innkeepers had provided a CD of Muzak love songs for us to enjoy while we were in the room. Anyway, as we were leaving, Kelly accidentally (?) threw this CD in with our other CDs. To make matters worse, Kelly left behind a CD that I had burned specifically for the honeymoon! So we had to drive back to the inn later and rectify the situation (my disc "The Honey + Moon Roadtrip Mix" happened to have a picture of a leprechaun's bare ass on the cover, which made the scene additionally awkward). Since this is not Kelly's first instance of stealing (she also "accidentally" walked out of Z Gallery with some paper lanterns or something), I don't know what to think!

I also did pretty much the worst job of packing in the history of honeymoons (if not of trips in general — including the Donner Party voyage). Here are some things I neglected to bring:

—Footware appropriate to the beach or boats (sandals, flip-flops, etc.)
—Short-sleeve shirts
—Any underwear

The last one seems especially unforgivable, since it's not like I could say, "Oh, I didn't realize underwear would be required here"...well, maybe I could have said that, but I probably would have burned something far worse than my shins [Hey-o! -ed.].

Fortunately, we were able to obtain clothing at a local shop. But it meant that I was wearing T-shirts with "Lake Tahoe Co-Ed Beach Club" and the like emblazoned on them the whole time. This, along with the pink shins, the tandem bicycle and the oversized bicycle helmet, made for an unfortunate combination. Luckily, I don't think Kelly can annul the marriage on grounds of general dorkiness (can she? someone please check on that).