Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Trapped in the Closet

Like you, I've been eagerly awaiting each installment of R. Kelly's five-part "Trapped in the Closet" series. But I missed a couple segments when I was on my trip and became hopelessly confused when I heard the latest installment yesterday (who the heck is Tina?).

Fortunately, they have the lyrics printed online, and I'm back up to speed.

Now, beware, the lyrics alone don't really convey R. Kelly's vocal stylings. Take a line such as,
I said, "Not another one of you sons of bitches say a word!
Cuz all this shit I'm goin' through is unheard!"

The poetry doesn't quite have the same impact in written form. But it gives you a sense of the plotline at least.

Even so, I'm not quite sure the dramatic denouement makes a lot of sense.

Let me see if I have this straight:
R. Kelly meets a woman (Cathy aka Mary) at a club after telling his wife he's going to be out with the guys.
The next morning R. Kelly wakes up next to Cathy. Her husband (Rufus) comes home. Rufus is a pastor.
But Rufus is also sleeping with Chuck (a man!).
R. Kelly then calls home and a man answers.
He races home to find out who the man is, but is pulled over by a policeman along the way.
At home, R. Kelly's wife reveals that the man is her brother (Twan).
R. Kelly then finds a condom in his bed and discovers that his wife has been sleeping with someone else.
R. Kelly demands to know who the man is, and his wife mentions a woman named Tina.
Tina doesn't appear to have anything to do with anything.
But then R. Kelly's wife mentions one of her girlfriend's named Roxanne.
Roxanne knows Chuck.
Chuck knows Rufus (as we know).
Rufus' wife Cathy went to high school with R. Kelly's wife. (So why all the other connections?)
Cathy introduced R. Kelly's wife to the policeman who just pulled over R. Kelly.
Ergo, R. Kelly's wife is sleeping with the policeman.

But is that really a fitting conclusion to R. Kelly's urban opera? And again, who the hell is Tina?