Friday, August 23, 2013

Let Us Now Pray to Our Merciful Savior, Sleeping Bunny

In an attempt to stop the kids from waking up before 7 a.m., we have installed a Kid'Sleep Wake Up Clock in their room.

The idea is to force the children to worship a mysterious god named Sleeping Bunny, who dictates the time they wake up and go to bed. When it's 7 a.m., he appears in the heavens (or, the top part of the clock) as a cheerful spirit ready to embrace the day.

At 7 p.m., Sleeping Bunny retires and signals to his followers that they too should go to bed and remain there for the next 12 hours. They are NOT allowed to come out of their room until the bunny wakes.

Unfortunately, we took a little too long to indoctrinate the children in this religion. It's like we have a prepubescent son and we're only revealing that we're Jews a few months before his bar mitzvah.

Elliot has no respect for the bunny. And while Alice seems to be somewhat reverent (she often remarks, "Quiet, the bunny is sleeping!"), she takes her cues from Elliot.

The bottom line: We're never going to get a decent night's sleep until these kids are teenagers.