Tuesday, May 17, 2011

'BART' (BRAT?) Food — Not What You Think

Either due to exhaustion or neglect, Kelly allowed me to take Elliot alone to the doctor.

Now, I almost never take the little guy to the doctor, so I was determined not to seem like a bumbling dad (you know, the kind who can't make pancakes). I tried to appear as with-it as possible when talking to the doctor.

But then she busted out the jargon: "Until Elliot's stomach settles, you should keep him on the BART foods" (no explanation given — she said it like I should know what "BART foods" are).

I played it cool, but I was pretty confused. In my world, you're not allowed to eat food on BART. And if you do manage to sneak some Doritos on there, it's certainly not going to settle your stomach!

After some Internet sleuthing, I figured out that BART foods are: bananas, applesauce, rice and toast.

But it took a while. I finally found it on an eHow page devoted to "How to Avoid Fatty Foods After Food Poisoning" (what the hell kind of eHow advice is that, by the way?).

Anyway, I have to say this to anyone in the medical profession: "BART food" is definitely not a household term.

At least get a character on "Grey's Anatomy" to say it before testing it on the rest of us.

UPDATE: Apparently this is better known as the "BRAT" diet (thanks, anonymous commenter!). Now that's a term I could have found quickly on Wikipedia.

The doctor didn't have an accent, so I don't think I misheard. I wonder if she avoids saying "BRAT" because it would offend parents?

"You need to put this kid on a BRAT diet. That's exactly what he needs."

UPDATE TO THE UPDATE: I suppose the more dangerous thing would be to confuse the "BRAT" diet for this.


That seems highly unlikely to settle your stomach.