For Alice's first dining experience, we took her to Bakesale Betty, the ultra-hip bakery/sandwich shop in Oakland's Temescal neighborhood.
There's only outdoor seating, so we figured no one could yell at us if Alice acted up.
Bakesale Betty is a minimalist eatery with a massive following. The menu is limited, and there's no decor to speak of — the signs in the window are hand-scrawled on pieces of paper. The lines can be insane, but we got there during a slower period.
They serve an amazing fried-chicken sandwich with coleslaw. Usually I hate coleslaw, but this one is quite good: It's vinegar-based and features jalapenos in addition to the usual cabbage.
The tables out front are actually ironing boards painted green. (The one downside: They're a bit rickety when you try to place a baby seat on them.)
Fortunately, Alice was able to outdo even Bakesale Betty's uber-trendy clientele with her seen-it-all attitude. She slept through the whole thing.
Top that, hipsters!