Monday, April 12, 2010

Law & Order: Folsom Street

Police shot an erratic driver this evening on Folsom Street, right at the end of our alley.

I encountered the scene on the way home from work, when police tape prevented me from getting through to our street — even on foot. A crowd of men in suits were huddled in the middle of the road (it turns out the police chief was one of them). I actually thought it was some kind of publicity event at first, until I saw a bunch of smashed-up cars.

I finally sneaked through the oil-change place and then bolted toward the other side of the tape. An officer yelled at me, and I yelled back that I was just trying to get home. I think I may have even tried to use a tough-guy accent — I felt very Bronx, circa 1970s.

When I got to our apartment, homicide investigators were knocking on doors. (I don't think it's a homicide, though, since the person who was shot may possibly pull through.) In any case, my instincts honed during hundreds of "Law & Order" episodes kicked in.

Two rules are crucial to any interview with homicide detectives. One: Have something to hide. Two: Act super busy, forcing the detectives to follow you around while you check inventory or do your laundry.

Unfortunately, they asked to talk to Kelly (since I mentioned that she was actually home while the incident occurred). Then Kelly made me go watch Elliot while she spoke with them. Hello, she could have at least used Elliot as a prop to confuse and distract them from her evasive answers!

Actually, she didn't know all that much, other than hearing a shot and the sound of a car crashing. We had to get the lowdown from this story in the Chronicle. (The photo at top is also from the Chron, since I was too scared to take a picture after the cop yelled at me.)

Kelly spoke to them for about five minutes and then they thanked her for her time. She could have at least unloaded the dishwasher while they talked. Amateur.

UPDATE: Based on the 10 o'clock news (lead item!), it sounds like the erratic driver is expected to be okay. So that's good, considering my blog didn't treat this incident with sufficient gravitas.