Edited Improved for Television?

If my favorite edited-for-TV dialogue is "I want these monkey-fighting snakes off this Monday-to-Friday plane," I'd have to say my No. 2 choice is a classic line from "G.I. Jane."

I saw a heavily edited version of the movie on an airplane flight. After Demi Moore's character gets beat up while trying to become a Navy Seal, she tells off the chauvinistic master chief...by saying: "Suck my stick!"

Hard to see how this line would strike a blow for gender equity in the armed forces. I hope at least it was an herbal-tea cinnamon stick or perhaps a Stella Dora.

Sadly, the phrase hasn't taken off on the Internet, and there are no T-shirts available. So I had to design my own.



I came across a compilation of the "Worst Movie Edits for TV" on the AskMen.com site. (Neither of my favorites were on the list.)

From their list:
—In "Weird Science": "Candle wax on their nipples" becomes "candle wax on their pimples." (Nipples is a naughty word?)
—In "RoboCop": They say, "You're gonna be one bad mother cruncher."
—In "The Usual Supects": "You f---ing c---sucker" becomes “You fairy godmother.”
—In "The Big Lebowski": “This is what happens when you f--- a stranger in the a--” turns into “See what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps.”

That last line seems like it would necessitate a more extensive rewrite of the movie.