Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Escape From Folsom

Kelly's mother is in town this week, and my parents came to visit yesterday, so we had all of Elliot's grandparents at our apartment.

This coincided with the Folsom Street Fair, happening just outside our door.

There's nothing quite like spending quality time with grandparents while looking out at a sea of chaps, reddened buttcheeks, leather floggers and genitalia harnesses.

I went out with my parents to buy meat at Costco for dinner (it's only three blocks away, so we went on foot). On the way home, we returned via Folsom, taking us through the heart of the fair and its wall-to-wall crowds of gyrating naked men. Let's just say we weren't the only people carrying meat. [Zing! -ed.]

As we squeezed through the throngs of leather-clad humanity, there were a couple times when I didn't think we were going to make it. I feel like Barber's Adagio should have been playing in the background.

I was relieved to finally return home — until I discovered Elliot, wearing nothing but socks.

Et tu, Elliot??

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Who's Working on the Elbert Dysart Botts biopic?

Now that they're releasing a biopic on the inventor of the intermittent windshield wiper (played by Greg Kinnear), you have to wonder: Where's the freakin' biopic on the guy who invented Botts' dots?

I have to say, as a former teenage driver in California, Botts' dots saved my life on many occasions.

Intermittent windshield wipers, on the other hand, are a small convenience.

Hello, Hollywood, are you hearing me? I'm willing to write the script.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Update on the Graffiti Experiment

Remember that property owner who said people could paint inside a box on his wall and it wouldn't be considered graffiti?

Well, he's gotten some takers on his offer. The other night, I spotted this inside the box:


I'm not sure what that drawing is exactly, but it resembles Elliot when he's using a Pee-Pee Teepee. They also misspelled graffiti.

Another person wrote this in the box — ironic maybe, since they did it while following the rules. (I like that the third exclamation point is a numeral 1, as if they forgot to keep holding down the shift key):


Unfortunately, some artists don't want to color within the lines. This was painted outside the box:

Friday, September 26, 2008

Evil, Thy Name Is...

The 2007 movie "Disturbia" and the current hit "Lakeview Terrace" bear some similarities.

They're both set in seemingly idyllic suburbs, spoiled by a homicidal neighbor. And in both cases the neighbor is named...Turner.

With these two firms and, of course, Ike Turner in "What's Love Got to Do With It," I wonder if Turner is emerging as a name of choice for villain characters.

With first names, on the other hand, writers typically opt for Earl as their evil name of choice. Examples: the movie "Waitress," the Dixie Chicks song "Goodbye Earl," and the TV show "My Name Is Earl" (yes, Earl is a good guy in that program, but the point is that he spent most of his life being a jerk).

So I suppose Earl Turner would be the ultimate fiend. (I guess we'll have to have another kid to use that one.)

'San Francisco Marches On'

This is a really cool promotional film from the 1930s that exhorted San Franciscans to build an underground subway line. The proposal in question was voted down resoundingly at the time, though a similar subway was built later — at much higher cost, of course.


Factoid alert: The narrator claims that Market Street "handles a larger volume of surface traffic than any street in the world." I don't think that's the case today (thanks a lot, India), but it's funny to see how unterrible the traffic looked back then (maybe because there are so few regular cars).

The film also promotes a crazy new technology called "buses": "Many of the large cities in the United States have removed all streetcar tracks and are operating buses exclusively. San Francisco, the city that knows how, should follow suit."

In this case, we were one of the only cities in the U.S. to not take that advice. And no regrets yet!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

'He Is Okay'

While I'm on a YouTube kick, check out this clip from QVC. It made me go, "BWAAAAAH!" at work.

Doing the Christian Robot

I'm not prepared to say this is as good as "Jesus Is My Friend," but it's pretty awesome — a nice companion piece!


P.S.: I looked for the original clip, but it's been taken down from YouTube. Why???

Catching Some Err

Yes, I found an error in a story about a guy who finds errors in stories.

Check out comment No. 9: "In the spirit of things, I'd like to point out that it's unlikely a call was placed 'at 2:49 a.m. PST on Saturday, Aug. 2,' since that would have been during daylight saving time; ergo, 'PDT.'"

BAD-ASS.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Caption Contest: Update

Remember that New Yorker cartoon (below) that seemed suspiciously similar to one that ran in Parade magazine?


Well, they've selected the three finalists for the caption:

"Can you please pass the cow?"

"Let me start by welcoming you all to Narcoleptics Anonymous."

"By a 9-0 vote, the rest-room expansion project is approved."


None of them is brilliant (they rarely are). I guess I'd say the best option is the cow one.

What's really odd is the idea of a giant cup of coffee was explored in yet another cartoon earlier this year. But it wasn't in the artwork, just in the caption.

The winning caption for this cartoon (from June 30) was, "Let's continue this discussion over a hot barrel of coffee."


So apparently giant-coffee-cup humor is HUGE right now!

Vintage Le Car Commercial

A friend sent me this awesome 1981 ad featuring the Le Car tearing up the streets of San Francisco! ["The Le Car"? Do you also say, "Rio Grande River"? -ed.]

I never got to ride in one, but Le Car was always a source of debate in French classes in the 1980s. ("Voiture" is feminine, so should it be "La Car"? No, because English words usually are treated as masculine.)

You have to wonder why the driver in the ad is so determined to evade police. I'd like to think he's a repeat sex offender who just violated parole and won't hesitate at massacring a cable car full of tourists if it'll keep him from going back behind the wall.

Ha, They Bought It

Yesterday we received Elliot's medical insurance card. I still find it surreal to see genuine documentation arriving in our mailbox with his name on it. It just seems odd to make up some name, give it to a creature that can't speak or read, and then suddenly have the world take him seriously as a human being.



It feels like we pulled something over on them.

But then, we still get credit card offers for the cat of the people who used to live here, Poopy Lickles.

BuboBlog Reviews 'The King of Kong'

Sadly, you won't see many reviews of new movies anymore (unless I can persuade Kelly that it's perfectly okay to bring a 2-week-old to "Tropic Thunder").

I would like to recommend a DVD we saw last night: "The King of Kong." It's a documentary about two men vying for the record score on the classic Donkey Kong arcade game.

The movie was surprisingly funny and touching. And for a documentary, it's amazing how great some of the "dialogue" was. The reigning champion of the game was so un-self-aware that any of his lines could have come straight out of the mouth of Michael Scott. Great stuff.

Rating: Four asterisks (out of four)

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Jude Law...Mentally Challenged Enough??

I'm a big fan of Sherlock Holmes (who isn't?), so I've been reading with interest about the new film adaptation featuring Robert Downey Jr. as the deerstalkered sleuth.

I was a little concerned today to read that Jude Law (pictured) has been cast as Watson.

I've always enjoyed the 1940s Basil Rathbone-Nigel Bruce interpretation of the stories. Bruce became progressively portly and feeble-minded over the course of the series — to the point where Sherlock would reveal a clue and Watson would basically grunt like an idiot.

I feel like Jude Law is going to try to bring something "new" to the role. Mainly, not being a drooling nincompoop.

Why mess with the formula, people? That's cinematic gold!

Elliot Slideshow

Kelly made a slideshow of Elliot's first two weeks on Earth.


Sadly, it doesn't play Green Day's "Time of Your Life" in the background, but you can't have everything!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Working Dad


I went back to work this week, which has drastically cut into my blogging time.

Oh, and also I get to spend less time with Elliot!

I feel very grown-up now when I come home from work and greet my wife and child. Part of me expects Elliot to be equally excited to see me, but he's not really feeling it yet. Yesterday I put him on my lap and he took the opportunity to pee on my pants. His aim was amazing too, because it really made it look like *I* had wet my own pants.

It's worse when Elliot has just been fed. At first he looks all opium-eyed and relaxed, until suddenly he needs to be burped. Then I have to comfort him while he pukes all over me. It's kind of like a motel party with 1990s Robert Downey Jr.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

As a Concerned Parent...

Should Elliot's pediatrician really be promoting hallucinogenic drugs with the artwork in his office?

Changing Times

Yesterday I was out for a jog when a homeless man stopped me.

"Excuse me?" he said.
I took out my earbuds.
"What's the price of copper...per pound?" he asked.
"Oh wow, I have no idea."

He looked disappointed and then pushed his shopping cart away. I guess I should be flattered that I looked like the sort of gentleman who would know such a thing.

I've heard there's a thriving trade in stolen copper, but still, when did our homeless become so entrepreneurial? In my day, the only time they brought up "copper" was to say, "You'll never take me alive, copper!"

Monday, September 15, 2008

'Jesus Is My Friend'

I used to think the cat-fight-throwing-up video was the greatest thing I'd ever seen on the Internet.

UNTIL NOW.

Anyone Have Some Fava Beans and a Nice Chianti?


I came home from the supermarket tonight to find poor Elliot wrapped in this crazy swaddling blanket. It has velcro straps in the back, so he can't wriggle out his arms.


Look familiar?

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Spaghetti Cat Fever

I was excited to see that they now make Spaghetti Cat merchandise for babies, since that would let Elliot participate in the phenomenon.

But the smallest size is for six-month-olds, and Kelly seems to think the craze will be long over by then. Oh well.

Elliot Dines Out

We took Elliot to a sit-down restaurant for the first time — the Soma Inn Cafe.

I was concerned that he would scream his head off, inviting glares from fellow customers. But he was a sleepy little angel.


Phase 2: Taking Elliot to '80s night at the Cat Club! [Phase 2 approval still pending. -ed.]

Saturday, September 13, 2008

How Much Is That Hooter Hider In The Window?

I've discussed on previous occasions my disturbance with Gmail and its efforts to show me advertisements based on the content of my e-mails.

Apparently my correspondence these days is baby-related, because Gmail just suggested I purchase a product by the name of Hooter Hiders?

Please, Gmail, allow me my dignity!

Friday, September 12, 2008

University of Pennsylvania people...na so smart

I saw this on Jay Leno's "Headlines" segment the other night. Apparently the president of the University of Pennsylvania said in a magazine story that Philadelphia was located between New York and Boston.


It's odd because, according to her Wikipedia bio, she was born in New York and went to college in Boston. So she probably has traveled between the two cities. Did she not look out the window?

Maybe she meant: "People love that Philadelphia has more Tastykakes than New York and is slightly less racist than Boston."

Obviously an editing mistake.

Federal Agents Mad 'Cause I'm Flagrant

Elliot rode the subway for the first time today.


Shortly after this picture was taken, we were upbraided by Muni officials for violating "federal law." Apparently you have to fold up your baby carriage and keep your child in your arms.

If only he'd been wearing his "Notorious B.I.B." bib — they would have known that he delights in lawbreaking.


UPDATE: This is suddenly a hot topic. It was brought up in the Chronicle a few days ago (as was pointed out in the comments). And then now today, there was more discussion.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Protest Statement or Laziness?

In San Francisco, property owners are required to paint over graffiti on their buildings. I've had to do this myself on a couple occasions. (If you don't repaint, the city will come do it and fine you.)

Anyway, I noticed this last night as we walked down Eighth Street (near Howard). It seems pretty obvious that the graffiti predates the box. The question is: Was it more work to draw the box and write the message — considering the time it took to find the correct spelling of "graffiti" — than just painting over the graffiti?


If you can't make it out, it says, "Painting within the above box is expressly permitted and shall not be considered 'graffiti' according to article #23 of the SF municipal code."

Where's Elliot?



THERE'S ELLIOT!



[Verdammt, this blog has officially reached a low point. -F.N.]

Two Families: Same Problems

One of these quotes was said by Kelly, the other by a woman talking on a cell phone today on our street. I won't say who said which quote, since it highlights how similar people's problems are — regardless of their background.

I mean, deep down.

1. "What are you doing? Are you on the computer again? Will you stop blogging for five minutes and come spend time with your son?"

2. "I ain't going back to jail, you hear me, [n-word]? S***, you need to stop snitchin' and be a better daddy to yo baby, [n-word]...oh hell no, don't even start on me like that, mothaf***er."

The Fallout

You've heard of "riding it until the wheels fall off." Well, Elliot just rode it till the umbilical stump fell off (more precisely, it fell off during a diaper change). This caused a bit of consternation to two new parents.
"Oh wow."
"What?"
"It came off."
"Oh wow. Should we save it?"
"No, it's gross."
"It's so hard. Like resin."
"Throw it away."
"But it was a part of his body. Actually, it kind of smells funny."
"You think he's okay?"
"He's not crying. And he cries for pretty much everything else. I'd say he's okay."
"I'm throwing it away."

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

It's Payback Time!

Every week when I put our trash bins out on the street, they quickly attract scavengers and homeless people. I don't have a problem with them trying to get some recyclable items, but it's pretty annoying when they scatter documents, bills and my International Male catalog all over the street — exposing our neighbors to our intimate affairs.

Well this week, the trash trolls are in for a bit of a surprise: POOPY DIAPERS!

Intoxicated with POWER

Look at me: I just edited a Wikipedia page for the first time. Have you tried this? It's actually very easy. Maybe too easy. I could spend all day doing this.

I was looking at the Wikipedia entry devoted to the name "Elliot" and noticed that there were many famous Elliots missing from the list.

So I added this one: "Eliot Ness, American Prohibition agent, head of The Untouchables."

I thought about adding Eliot Spitzer as well, but maybe I don't want the name tainted (at least on Wikipedia).

Interestingly, there are almost no famous "Elliots" (two L's, one T). (There's this composer, and some guy in the Cars, but c'mon.) Every well-known person with the name is either two L's, two T's or one L, one T. Odd, since we deliberately chose the most common spelling of the name.

So our Elliot is destined for a life of obscurity, or he'll have to be the first famous "Elliot" ever. That's a lot of pressure.

Tigh-Roslin 2008!

I compared Sarah Palin to Aaron Burr, and others have noted her resemblance to Tina Fey.

But this may top all that (at least in the category of extreme dorkiness): It's a campaign site for Saul Tigh and Laura Roslin (two characters from Battlestar Galactica).


Tuesday, September 09, 2008

BuboBlog Apologizes

BuboBlog is sincerely sorry for becoming obsessed with Baby Elliot over the past few days and promises to return to its regular content soon.

In reparation, a picture of an adorable baby.


Oh crap, I did it again.

All Elliot All The Time: The Photos Keep Comin'

Elliot provides dominoes advice (or possibly just drools on my shirt):


That's not a nipple!


The happy family:


I like to lurk in the background:


Elliot at rest:


Ha ha ha:


Cousin Margot reading...or eating. Who's to say?

Don't Judge Us, Baby!

Elliot was asleep on the couch, so we figured it was safe to watch a little TV, i.e., "The Soup."

He literally covered his eyes.


You think you're better than us, baby, do you?

Monday, September 08, 2008

Quotes of the Day

"Is that a shadow? No, YAYYYY...he pooped! He pooped!!"

"Don't spill Guinness on the baby."

"He's swaying. I think he's going to puke."

"He looks like W.C. Fields."

"Wait, stop. That's how Jimi Hendrix died."

"Don't take a picture of that."

I Was Merely ACTING!


Elliot as Hamlet.

Bath time...or, according to Elliot, THE END OF THE WORLD!





That wasn't so bad now, was it?

All Elliot All The Time: More Photos

At the hospital:




At home:



Note how he's resting his head on his hand:


Meanwhile, Cousin Margot demands attention — and gets it: