To the woman I just terrified on Third Street:
(1.) First of all, ma'am, I was just a harmless jogger trying to get by. You and your grandson were taking up the whole sidewalk. I tried to say "excuse me" as gently as possible. Maybe I frightened you by having my iPod turned up too loud ("This is black superhero music right here, baby") or by sporting a three-day beard. I'm not a terrorist, I'm on STAYCATION.
(2.) I realize you probably come from Orinda or Lafayette or the generic equivalent, and you were a little nervous parking three blocks from the ballpark and walking. But let me tell you, Third Street is the NICE part of SoMa. Go three blocks west of there and then maybe you can be scared.
(3.) Last and most important, how dare you jump six inches and shriek wildly. THAT'S USUALLY MY JOB.