Monday, November 29, 2004

My Trip to Mississippi

This was my third trip to the South for Thanksgiving, but the first time I've visited Kelly's relatives in Mississippi. Though I hadn't been to that state since I was 7 (it was 1981, and Juice Newton was in the air), it hasn't changed much (despite the sign in front of the Jackson airport, which declared it to be the "Best of the New South").

We stayed with her grandparents (Maw Maw and Paw Paw -- sp?) on a farm in Jefferson County, near Natchez, and I feel like I got a good taste of country living. For one, we got to see a goat get its head stuck in a fence and then mauled by quasi-wild dogs! Fortunately, Kelly's Paw Paw was able to rescue the goat (I tried to help, but my "May I be of assistance, good sir?" was lost amid the beast's frantic bleating).

Kelly's grandfather also demanded to know why we did not shop at Wal-Mart, and was horrified to learn that there was no Wal-Mart whatsoever in San Francisco. Then Kelly made the mistake of trying to explain her job at Macworld. Her grandparents were not familiar with the publication and asked whether Kelly was allowed to publish cat stories because everyone loves cat stories.

It got worse when Kelly busted out her Photo iPod, explaining that it twas a clockwork device and not one operated by witchcraft. For the rest of the weekend, Kelly's grandmother referred to it as the IHOP, which caused no small amount of confusion (actual quote: "You in California, with your fancy IHOPs").

After a few days in Mississippi we returned to Atlanta, which suddenly felt enormously civilized. I got to go to my favorite hip-hop club in Buckhead, the Uranus (yes, I believe it's pronounced that way -- maybe it's a gay club on other nights of the week?) and picked up some new moves for "calling out" people on the dance floor. My favorite, performed exquisitely by one gentleman, involves flipping someone the bird, then throwing the middle finger into the air and pretending to kick it around like a hackey sack. Perhaps I'm not explaining it well, but it was delightful.

If I'm ever tempted to move to Atlanta, it would be on account of Buckhead nightlife. Where in the Bay Area can you party until 4 a.m. and be the only non-black person in the place? (Note: If I had said "non-Asian," the correct answer would be the Serra Bowl in Colma.)

Checking In

I'm back from the Dirrrrrty South and attempting to brush the dirt off my shoulder (holy cow, I had 2,103 e-mails this morning -- 90% spam).

Friday, November 19, 2004

Gone Til November (29th)

Red states, here I come! We're flying out tonight to Atlanta and then on to Mississippi to visit Kelly's relatives for Thanksgiving.

So I won't be able to post anything until I get back (and no, not because they don't have electricity there -- I promised Kelly I wouldn't make any more Southern jokes).

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

The Plot Thickens

Police named G Unit's Young Buck (nee David Darnell Brown) as the stabber at Monday's Vibe music awards. From what I can discern, he was trying to protect Dr. Dre, who was slugged by a man named Jimmy James Johnson. I can't say I'm too shocked as Young Buck seems to be the hot head of G Unit. Whereas Lloyd Banks is content to rap about bling bling and "taking care of birds like an animal doctor," Buck's lyrics are usually a bit more antagonistic:

From "Poppin' Them Thangs":
I been havin beef, I got my own bulletproof vest
Most of my enemies dead, I got about two left
Until my last breath, I'm sendin niggaz bulletholes
Innocent bystanders get hit tryin to be heroes

These are the kind of lyrics that look bad later in a courtroom environment.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

New Feature!

Thanks to me learning to code in HTML (sort of), I'm now able to offer a new feature. On the right side of my blog I'll now be posting the books I'm reading and any recent movies I've seen (along with ratings). Check it out!

That's OK — You Can Keep it

So this is interesting: If you're homeless in Berkeley and you misplace your shopping cart, have no fear. The city will place the cart and its contents in a storage container and keep it safe for you until you're ready to retrieve it. Even better, the container is refrigerated — in case you leave a jar of mayonnaise or some salami in there.

The program is an effort to abide by a state law that requires cities to store lost goods, but Berkeley goes further than most places (San Francisco also stores homeless people's stuff but sans refrigeration).

It costs Berkeley about $3,000 a year to refrigerate the storage container. But wait — there's an added benefit: Officials say it could be used as a morgue in the event of a major disaster.

But some people are upset that the carts aren't being returned to the supermarkets they came from — since they're technically stolen property. And in fact, even when markets are contacted about the carts, they make little effort to retrieve them. Um, yeah...because that would be freakin' disgusting. I feel like after a homeless person has pushed around a grocery cart for a few days — or it's been in close proximity to decaying corpses — it should never again be used to stow my Cheerios.

Bad Vibe

In light of ODB's recent passing, you'd think the rap community would chill out for a bit. But a knife fight reportedly broke out yesterday at the violence-plagued Vibe music awards. Apparently Dr. Dre was involved, and one person got stabbed (they don't say whom).

I like how Suge Knight tries to be the voice of reason: "It's really important that we don't take a negative incident like this and do away with the awards."

Nice sentiment -- since it was probably Suge's guys attacking Dre. (Dre has a restraining order against Suge, who was threatened him and Snoop many times.)

Friday, November 12, 2004


Bad news for Haverford lawyers representing pregnant-woman-decapitators.

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Special Delivery

This woman ordered some glassware from eBay and as an added bonus, the items came wrapped in soiled Depends adult diapers. And she has the temerity to complain!

Thursday, November 04, 2004

Queen B, That's Me

Nice to see Syracuse is offering a course called "Queen Bitch 101 -- The Life and Times of Lil' Kim." I believe Haverford has the same course only it's at the 200 level.

I like the quote from Lil' Kim: "I am honored and quite proud that a class is being taught on my sensationalist lyrics, unique style and fashion and leadership role within the hip-hop community."

That is a sentence that I will probably never be able to utter myself. [But a boy can dream. -ed.]

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

I Wonder

Maybe the people of Massachusetts made a Faustian bargain: They could either have John Kerry win the White House or the Red Sox win the World Series.

Now we know which one they chose...